Domestic Violence is Not a Private Matter

Domestic violence is not a private matter. Behind closed doors it is shielded and hidden and it only intensifies. It is protected by silence – everyone's silence.

Most people find the idea of violence against women – and sometimes, though rarely, against men - abhorrent, but do nothing to challenge it. More women and children will continue to experience domestic violence unless we all speak out against it.

Domestic violence is a growing problem in the U.S. and seems to only be getting worse. Nearly one-third of American women (31 percent) report being physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives, according to a Commonwealth Fund survey. That is such an incredible number, its just unimaginable that so many women fall victim to this terrible crime. This is a problem that needs attention. Women need to become more educated about domestic violence so that they are able to get out before they get hurt, or before the violence escalates.

On average, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends in this country every day. In 2000, 1,247 women were killed by an intimate partner. The same year, 440 men were killed by an intimate partner. (Bureau of Justice Statistics Crime Data Brief, Intimate Partner Violence, 1993-2001, February 2001) This is unacceptable and we need to work together as a strong, powerful force and help put a stop to this.

If you or someone you know think that you are in an abusive relationship I urge you go to family, friends or a counselor and figure out a plan to get out. If you don't know the warning signs here are a few:

INTRUSION: Constantly asks you where you are going, who you are with, etc.

ISOLATION: Insists that you spend all or most of your time together, cutting you off from friends and family.

POSSESSION AND JEALOUSY: Accuses you of flirting/having sexual relationships with others; monitors your clothing/make-up.

NEED FOR CONTROL: Displays extreme anger when things do not go his way; attempts to make all of your decisions.

UNKNOWN PASTS / NO RESPECT FOR WOMEN: Secretive about past relationships; refers to women with negative remarks, etc.

Is overly sensitive - acts 'hurt' when not getting one's way, takes offense when others disagree with an opinion, gets very upset at small inconveniences that are just a normal part of life. Gets very serious with boyfriends/girlfriends very quickly - saying "I love you" very early in the relationship, wanting to move in together or get engaged after only a few months, or pressuring partner for a serious commitment.

If you would like more information about domestic violence or you would like to help put a stop to domestic violence visit the site below. Please if you are seeking help use a safe computer or call from a safe place.

National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233) or go to the website http://www.ndvh.org