So, I recently heard that California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has gone and made some last minute budget cuts, and entirely axed the pot allocated for Catalyst Domestic Services who do things like offer shelter to victims of domestic violence.
The state Legislature had submitted a budget with a 20 percent reduction to the $20.4 million provide to agencies that offer domestic violence services, but Arnie said "NEIN," and slashed the funding by a comprehensive 100 percent.
I have to wonder if they are willing to consider alternatives to the State run options?
By the way, I also heard that the national coalitions created a petition to change Domestic Violence Awareness from October to May. The real reason behind that proposed change, Cancer Awareness is in October and it would take the "thunder" away from Domestic Violence awareness. Come on! Really? Awareness should be on a daily basis, not just once a year. This proposed date change would cost millions and how would they pay for it? Through the funding they get on a federal and state level? Okay, California can’t afford the toilet paper to wipe their asses with and felt the need to cut domestic violence services that they couldn't afford, but let’s spend their money on changing the date of awareness. Hypocrisy at its finest!
So, now that the Governor has vetoed the funding for Domestic Violence, I think California should call an audit of funds to see where these organizations have spending the states money. I'm not sure the funds have been used to help those in need, as much as it should have been doing. I mean, seriously, the domestic violence system is broken. Battered women and children have a hard time getting help sometimes, and abused women generally are left alone to lose their children to their abusers in court.
When I left my abuser, I skipped the red tape altogether and fled to a co-ed homeless shelter rather than a domestic violence shelter. I didn't have time to dilly dally with the system, I just needed to get out of a bad situation and stay safe, and I needed to do so ASAP. I didn't have time to find a Domestic Violence shelter somewhere and see if I could get in or not. I also didn't have time to talk to counselors. For me it was: Leave ASAP or die! So, I fled on my own without help or support from anyone else or any organization. And, once my divorce was final, I never looked back. Upward and onward!
I do realize that going to a homeless shelter can seem too scary for some victims so there needs to be some sanctuary where they can seek refuge if they don't wish to do what I did. So, I don't think California is smart to cut funding for Domestic Violence shelters.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Domestic Violence Effects on Children
I think there needs to be more awareness of the effects that domestic violence has on children. Even children who aren’t directly hit but are witnesses to domestic violence suffer physical, mental, and emotional health problems, advocates and medical experts say.
Unfortunately, I believe that, in general, people don’t understand the long-term implications of that impact. They need to understand that exposure to violence is a form of child abuse.
And, with the worsening economy, advocates fear more children will be exposed to domestic violence.
Besides having a higher risk of depression, substance abuse, and juvenile delinquency, children from violent homes also are at higher risk of heart problems and obesity, experts say. Development of the brain can also be impaired, according to some experts.
Neurological pathways in a child’s brain don’t get a chance to develop if areas of the brain that react to trauma become more active, explains Sacramento, CA therapist and trauma expert Dr. Linda Barnard.
I personally feel that if we are able to address the violence in households at anearly age, we would address a certain number of issues in society, such as substance abuse, divorce, and the next generation carrying on the violence.
In homes where domestic violence occurs, children are at high risk for suffering physical abuse themselves, according to research by Women's Rural Advocacy Programs. Regardless of whether children are physically abused, the emotional effects of witnessing domestic violence are very similar to the psychological trauma of being a victim of child abuse.
* Children in homes where domestic violence occurs may "indirectly" receive injuries. They may be hurt when household items are thrown or weapons are used. Infants may be injured if being held by the mother when the batterer strikes out.
* Older children may be hurt while trying to protect their mother.
* Children in homes where domestic violence occurs may experience cognitive or language problems, developmental delay, stress-related physical ailments (such as headaches, ulcers, and rashes), and hearing and speech problems.
* Many children in homes where domestic violence occurs have difficulties in school, including problems with concentration, poor academic performance, difficulty with peer interactions, and more absences from school.
* Boys who witness domestic violence are more likely to batter their female partners as adults than boys raised in nonviolent homes. Girls who witness their mothers' abuse have a higher risk of being battered as adults.
* Taking responsibility for the abuse.
* Constant anxiety (that another beating will occur) and stress-related disorders.
* Guilt for not being able to stop the abuse or for loving the abuser.
* Fear of abandonment.
* Social isolation and difficulty interacting with peers and adults.
* Low self-esteem.
* Younger children do not understand the meaning of the abuse they observe and tend to believe that they "must have done something wrong." Self-blame can precipitate feelings of guilt, worry, and anxiety.
* Children may become withdrawn, non-verbal, and exhibit regressed behaviors such as clinging and whining. Eating and sleeping difficulty, concentration problems, generalized anxiety, and physical complaints (such as headaches) are all common.
* Unlike younger children, the pre-adolescent child typically has greater ability to externalize negative emotions. In addition to symptoms commonly seen with childhood anxiety (such as sleep problems, eating disturbance, nightmares), victims in this age group may show a loss of interest in social activities, low self-concept, withdrawal or avoidance of peer relations, rebelliousness and oppositional-defiant behavior in the school setting. It is also common to observe temper tantrums, irritability, frequent fighting at school or between siblings, lashing out at objects, treating pets cruelly or abusively, threatening of peers or siblings with violence, and attempts to gain attention through hitting, kicking, or choking peers and/or family members. Girls are more likely to exhibit withdrawal and run the risk of being "missed" as a child in need of support.
* Adolescents are at risk of academic failure, school drop-out, delinquency, substance abuse, and difficulties in their own relationships.
Unfortunately, I believe that, in general, people don’t understand the long-term implications of that impact. They need to understand that exposure to violence is a form of child abuse.
And, with the worsening economy, advocates fear more children will be exposed to domestic violence.
Besides having a higher risk of depression, substance abuse, and juvenile delinquency, children from violent homes also are at higher risk of heart problems and obesity, experts say. Development of the brain can also be impaired, according to some experts.
Neurological pathways in a child’s brain don’t get a chance to develop if areas of the brain that react to trauma become more active, explains Sacramento, CA therapist and trauma expert Dr. Linda Barnard.
I personally feel that if we are able to address the violence in households at anearly age, we would address a certain number of issues in society, such as substance abuse, divorce, and the next generation carrying on the violence.
In homes where domestic violence occurs, children are at high risk for suffering physical abuse themselves, according to research by Women's Rural Advocacy Programs. Regardless of whether children are physically abused, the emotional effects of witnessing domestic violence are very similar to the psychological trauma of being a victim of child abuse.
* Children in homes where domestic violence occurs may "indirectly" receive injuries. They may be hurt when household items are thrown or weapons are used. Infants may be injured if being held by the mother when the batterer strikes out.
* Older children may be hurt while trying to protect their mother.
* Children in homes where domestic violence occurs may experience cognitive or language problems, developmental delay, stress-related physical ailments (such as headaches, ulcers, and rashes), and hearing and speech problems.
* Many children in homes where domestic violence occurs have difficulties in school, including problems with concentration, poor academic performance, difficulty with peer interactions, and more absences from school.
* Boys who witness domestic violence are more likely to batter their female partners as adults than boys raised in nonviolent homes. Girls who witness their mothers' abuse have a higher risk of being battered as adults.
* Taking responsibility for the abuse.
* Constant anxiety (that another beating will occur) and stress-related disorders.
* Guilt for not being able to stop the abuse or for loving the abuser.
* Fear of abandonment.
* Social isolation and difficulty interacting with peers and adults.
* Low self-esteem.
* Younger children do not understand the meaning of the abuse they observe and tend to believe that they "must have done something wrong." Self-blame can precipitate feelings of guilt, worry, and anxiety.
* Children may become withdrawn, non-verbal, and exhibit regressed behaviors such as clinging and whining. Eating and sleeping difficulty, concentration problems, generalized anxiety, and physical complaints (such as headaches) are all common.
* Unlike younger children, the pre-adolescent child typically has greater ability to externalize negative emotions. In addition to symptoms commonly seen with childhood anxiety (such as sleep problems, eating disturbance, nightmares), victims in this age group may show a loss of interest in social activities, low self-concept, withdrawal or avoidance of peer relations, rebelliousness and oppositional-defiant behavior in the school setting. It is also common to observe temper tantrums, irritability, frequent fighting at school or between siblings, lashing out at objects, treating pets cruelly or abusively, threatening of peers or siblings with violence, and attempts to gain attention through hitting, kicking, or choking peers and/or family members. Girls are more likely to exhibit withdrawal and run the risk of being "missed" as a child in need of support.
* Adolescents are at risk of academic failure, school drop-out, delinquency, substance abuse, and difficulties in their own relationships.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Recurring Theme in Domestic Violence Cases
The National Domestic Violence Hotline reports that 33 million or 15 percent of adults polled in a 2006 Harris Poll admitted that they were a victim of domestic violence, defined as "behaviors used by one person in a relationship to control the other" by domesticviolence.org.
Domestic Violence continues to be in the news on a daily basis. While most of it is bad news, there is also some hopeful news on the subject. For example, on July 23 it was announced that an interactive computer questionnaire may give family doctors a better opportunity to identify and intervene with patients who are victims of domestic violence, according to a new study from the Dalla Lana School of Public Health.
The interactive questionnaire is perhaps a step in the right direction and tackling this growing problem.
Three homicides in California's Sacramento County during the past week provide startling examples of how domestic violence can escalate unexpectedly and with deadly consequence.
Each of the deaths offers a stark reminder of an age-old problem, but they don't appear to signal a greater trend, according to data and officials' accounts.
Detectives have identified domestic violence as the motive in just four of the 30 homicides committed this year in the Sacramento city police and Sacramento County sheriff's jurisdictions – or 13 percent.
That number has fluctuated over the last several years: In 2008, 6 percent of homicides in those areas were attributed to domestic violence, down from 13 percent in 2007. The year before, it was 8 percent.
So far in 2009, city and county authorities have made 942 arrests for domestic violence. At that rate, arrests would be down only slightly from last year's total of 2,091.
What triggered each of the recent homicides – one in Elk Grove; one in Folsom, in which police say the shooter then committed suicide; one in Sacramento – remains unclear. But officials say economic turmoil often is behind surges in problems between partners or family members.
The past week's bloodshed has been particularly troubling to advocates for victims of domestic violence.
Beth Hassett, executive director of Women Escaping a Violent Environment, recently told the Sacramento Bee that her organization, which fields up to 20,000 calls a year, has not seen a spike in calls regarding domestic violence. But she said that more of the callers are reporting physical abuse – rather than verbal, emotional or financial abuse – and that money is a recurring theme.
"We're seeing already stressed relationships are getting more volatile," Hassett told The Bee. "It's terrible, but it seems it's a result of the bad economy and everybody being in such a terrible space right now."
Recently the case of Chris Brown and Rihanna brought the issue of domestic violence brought a little more attention to domestic violence. R&B singer Brown, 20, assaulted his former girlfriend, pop artist Rihanna, 21, at a Grammy Awards pre-party on February 8.
He was convicted of felony assault in June and will be formally sentenced to 180 days of community service and five years of probation on August 5. He will also attend a two-week course on domestic violence.
People seem to be divided in their views about his actions. Some think we should let him serve his sentence, the standard for first-time offenders, in peace.
Others are outraged at the idea of letting him get out of jail time and pardoning him.
Recently retired National Organization for Women President Kim Gandy wrote online that the coverage was a prime opportunity to tackle the issue: "Much coverage, unfortunately, has been from the celebrity scandal angle with precious little substance. It’s no wonder that so many women and men have engaged in an enormous amount of victim-blaming. Outrageous comments about Rihanna, and what she must have done to 'deserve' a beating, are all over the Internet. As frustrating as these comments are, there is much to be learned from them."
I, myself, believe the best thing we can all learn from Brown and Rihanna is to be aware of domestic violence, to understand that it is prevalent; not sweep it under the rug or shrug it off as another one of those things that only happens to other people. To reach out to and empower victims, to educate ourselves and direct our resources toward ending the violence can be our apology to victims, our way of saying that we’re sorry, we are listening and we do care.
Domestic Violence continues to be in the news on a daily basis. While most of it is bad news, there is also some hopeful news on the subject. For example, on July 23 it was announced that an interactive computer questionnaire may give family doctors a better opportunity to identify and intervene with patients who are victims of domestic violence, according to a new study from the Dalla Lana School of Public Health.
The interactive questionnaire is perhaps a step in the right direction and tackling this growing problem.
Three homicides in California's Sacramento County during the past week provide startling examples of how domestic violence can escalate unexpectedly and with deadly consequence.
Each of the deaths offers a stark reminder of an age-old problem, but they don't appear to signal a greater trend, according to data and officials' accounts.
Detectives have identified domestic violence as the motive in just four of the 30 homicides committed this year in the Sacramento city police and Sacramento County sheriff's jurisdictions – or 13 percent.
That number has fluctuated over the last several years: In 2008, 6 percent of homicides in those areas were attributed to domestic violence, down from 13 percent in 2007. The year before, it was 8 percent.
So far in 2009, city and county authorities have made 942 arrests for domestic violence. At that rate, arrests would be down only slightly from last year's total of 2,091.
What triggered each of the recent homicides – one in Elk Grove; one in Folsom, in which police say the shooter then committed suicide; one in Sacramento – remains unclear. But officials say economic turmoil often is behind surges in problems between partners or family members.
The past week's bloodshed has been particularly troubling to advocates for victims of domestic violence.
Beth Hassett, executive director of Women Escaping a Violent Environment, recently told the Sacramento Bee that her organization, which fields up to 20,000 calls a year, has not seen a spike in calls regarding domestic violence. But she said that more of the callers are reporting physical abuse – rather than verbal, emotional or financial abuse – and that money is a recurring theme.
"We're seeing already stressed relationships are getting more volatile," Hassett told The Bee. "It's terrible, but it seems it's a result of the bad economy and everybody being in such a terrible space right now."
Recently the case of Chris Brown and Rihanna brought the issue of domestic violence brought a little more attention to domestic violence. R&B singer Brown, 20, assaulted his former girlfriend, pop artist Rihanna, 21, at a Grammy Awards pre-party on February 8.
He was convicted of felony assault in June and will be formally sentenced to 180 days of community service and five years of probation on August 5. He will also attend a two-week course on domestic violence.
People seem to be divided in their views about his actions. Some think we should let him serve his sentence, the standard for first-time offenders, in peace.
Others are outraged at the idea of letting him get out of jail time and pardoning him.
Recently retired National Organization for Women President Kim Gandy wrote online that the coverage was a prime opportunity to tackle the issue: "Much coverage, unfortunately, has been from the celebrity scandal angle with precious little substance. It’s no wonder that so many women and men have engaged in an enormous amount of victim-blaming. Outrageous comments about Rihanna, and what she must have done to 'deserve' a beating, are all over the Internet. As frustrating as these comments are, there is much to be learned from them."
I, myself, believe the best thing we can all learn from Brown and Rihanna is to be aware of domestic violence, to understand that it is prevalent; not sweep it under the rug or shrug it off as another one of those things that only happens to other people. To reach out to and empower victims, to educate ourselves and direct our resources toward ending the violence can be our apology to victims, our way of saying that we’re sorry, we are listening and we do care.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Latest Statistics ...
The number of domestic-assault cases tends to go up as the economy gets worse. The National Domestic Violence Hotline said that during a recent study, more than half of its callers reported a change in their household’s financial situation within the past year.
By the way, I recently became aware of a new state law in New York that prohibits employers from firing or refusing to hire domestic-violence or stalking victims, which is aimed at helping people gain the financial independence needed to separate from an abuser and take time off work to pursue legal cases.
New York Gov. David Paterson recently signed the legislation, which took effect immediately.
Each year in New York, an estimated 400,000 domestic incidents are reported to law enforcement, according to the state Division of Criminal Justice Services. The New York governor has signed a few other bills this year on domestic violence. One requires campuses and colleges to provide incoming students with information on domestic violence and stalking prevention. Another exempts victims of domestic violence, stalking or another crime that jeopardizes their safety from the requirement that a name change be published.
Earlier this month, Paterson vetoed a bill that would have directed the secretary of state to accept mail and legal papers on behalf of domestic-violence victims who wanted their location kept confidential. The governor’s veto said he supports the goals of the legislation, but it would be too costly –- an estimated $1.4 million the first year and $900,000 in future years –- and potentially could require the state to accept and forward all mail.
The state estimated that up to 2,000 victims would register.
Sen. Ruth Hassell-Thompson, D-Mount Vernon, Westchester County, sponsored two domestic-violence bills that passed both houses but haven’t been acted on yet by the governor. One would prohibit that victims be required to contact their abusers as a condition of receiving public benefits and services. They often have to contact the abuser to obtain documents required during a screening process.
The second bill would require that court-appointed attorneys for children receive training on the effect of domestic violence, ensure that court records detail how domestic violence is taken into account in child-custody and visitation decisions, and allow prosecutors to charge alleged abusers with a second-degree harassment violation that couldn’t be sealed in court records. Cases often are pleaded down from misdemeanors to violations that can be sealed.
Hassell-Thompson’s bill includes several provisions that were requested by the governor. Paterson also proposed prohibiting discrimination against domestic-abuse victims in employment and housing.
A bill to prevent housing discrimination passed the Assembly but didn’t get through the Senate this year.
Legislation that passed only one house would have prohibited domestic-violence abusers from lawfully possessing a firearm, permitted victims to take up to 90 days in a 12-month period of unpaid leaves of absence from their job, and clarified that criminal orders of protection begin at sentencing and not conviction.
By the way, I recently became aware of a new state law in New York that prohibits employers from firing or refusing to hire domestic-violence or stalking victims, which is aimed at helping people gain the financial independence needed to separate from an abuser and take time off work to pursue legal cases.
New York Gov. David Paterson recently signed the legislation, which took effect immediately.
Each year in New York, an estimated 400,000 domestic incidents are reported to law enforcement, according to the state Division of Criminal Justice Services. The New York governor has signed a few other bills this year on domestic violence. One requires campuses and colleges to provide incoming students with information on domestic violence and stalking prevention. Another exempts victims of domestic violence, stalking or another crime that jeopardizes their safety from the requirement that a name change be published.
Earlier this month, Paterson vetoed a bill that would have directed the secretary of state to accept mail and legal papers on behalf of domestic-violence victims who wanted their location kept confidential. The governor’s veto said he supports the goals of the legislation, but it would be too costly –- an estimated $1.4 million the first year and $900,000 in future years –- and potentially could require the state to accept and forward all mail.
The state estimated that up to 2,000 victims would register.
Sen. Ruth Hassell-Thompson, D-Mount Vernon, Westchester County, sponsored two domestic-violence bills that passed both houses but haven’t been acted on yet by the governor. One would prohibit that victims be required to contact their abusers as a condition of receiving public benefits and services. They often have to contact the abuser to obtain documents required during a screening process.
The second bill would require that court-appointed attorneys for children receive training on the effect of domestic violence, ensure that court records detail how domestic violence is taken into account in child-custody and visitation decisions, and allow prosecutors to charge alleged abusers with a second-degree harassment violation that couldn’t be sealed in court records. Cases often are pleaded down from misdemeanors to violations that can be sealed.
Hassell-Thompson’s bill includes several provisions that were requested by the governor. Paterson also proposed prohibiting discrimination against domestic-abuse victims in employment and housing.
A bill to prevent housing discrimination passed the Assembly but didn’t get through the Senate this year.
Legislation that passed only one house would have prohibited domestic-violence abusers from lawfully possessing a firearm, permitted victims to take up to 90 days in a 12-month period of unpaid leaves of absence from their job, and clarified that criminal orders of protection begin at sentencing and not conviction.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
GPS Tracking Systems to Protect Victims
About 17 states in America now have GPS tracking systems to help protect victims of Domestic Violence and Interpersonal Violence, turning the focus on the abuser.
From every corner of our lives, domestic and interpersonal violence seems to rear its ugly head in some form or fashion. Case after case, victims of these often under reported crimes are left without true protection from the violent hand of their abusers, some ending in fatalities.
History of abuse in those who do report it to the authorities serves as a tracking record of sorts but it is really just a snapshot in the overall relationship. With the majority of abusers escalating over time, the decision for a victim to leave the relationship is not necessarily one that will provide an abuse-free environment. Even the court issued restraining order and for some, ankle monitoring device does not protect these victims from their husbands, wives and boyfriends returning to punish and seek their revenge.
In June of this year, Texas joined a coalition of nearly 20 states in the United States dedicated to implementing GPS tracking on certain convicted domestic violence offenders. The tracking system enables law enforcement authorities to not only monitor a convicted offender but respond quickly when an offender goes near specified locations such as a victim's home, school, or place of employment.
Note: Abuse victims are most often beaten and killed in the own homes, family homes, job sites, or other places that would normally be deemed as safe.
The Illinois legislation was passed after a woman named Cindy Bischof was murdered by her estranged boyfriend who had violated a restraining order twice. Cindy, a Chicago area real estate broker, took the legal steps to ensure her safety and the system failed her. She was shot and killed in her employment parking lot by her ex-boyfriend who had just been released from jail for a violation of the restraining order. Her grieving family turned that tragic event into a real life saving endeavor that will give victims in the state a chance.
The story of Cindy Bischof is not an exception. ... A woman in Texas remained married to her abusive husband for two decades before finally leaving him. The court had honored the request that a restraining order and monitoring device be issued against Matthew O'Connor after he continually harassed his ex-wife. On August 23, 2006, Matthew O'Connor kicked in the door of his ex-wife's home and shot her over 20 times before turning the gun on himself. Her family feels that had GPS been required on convicted offenders who had also violated a restraining order, their loved one would still be alive.
And, in Massachusetts, a 51-year-old mother of two whose West Point graduate husband and abuser tormented their family for years attributes her being alive to GPS tracking. "Joel" was said to have violated the restraining order three times and had no concern over the consequences of doing so. He continued to threaten, beat and stalk his wife and family. Massachusetts has issued over 30,000 domestic violence related restraining orders, with 1/4 of those having been violated.
A story in the New York Times told how a 21-year-old woman was continually harassed and stalked for two years by a man she met at a Weslyan University summer course. Despite initially notifying the police, Stephen P. Morgan left town so the woman did not press charges. He returned and shot her execution style seven times while she was working at her campus bookstore job. Police later uncovered evidence of a more sinister plot that involved a mass campus shooting.
Across the nation, the focus of responsibility has historically been placed on the victims of abuse by individuals and law enforcement officials, sometimes forcing the victim to uproot and run to shelters or into hiding. Although not all victims of abuse are women, it is shown time and time again that over 3/4 of those stalked and murdered by an intimate partner are female victims.
Although the GPS monitoring is being implemented in more states, nay-sayers continue to hold up excuses in opposition. Criticisms against the GPS tracking system include: false victim safety, lack of funding, and even increased violence on certain populations -- specifically minority groups.
In the United States alone, three women are murdered by their husbands and intimate partners every day; one-third of all female homicides in America.
In an already skewed system that places the blame on the victim for allegedly getting themselves into a violent and abusive relationship where abusers are often masterminds at manipulation and deflection, implementing a system of tracking for convicted abusers and violators of restraining orders could give those victims a fighting chance at life.
From every corner of our lives, domestic and interpersonal violence seems to rear its ugly head in some form or fashion. Case after case, victims of these often under reported crimes are left without true protection from the violent hand of their abusers, some ending in fatalities.
History of abuse in those who do report it to the authorities serves as a tracking record of sorts but it is really just a snapshot in the overall relationship. With the majority of abusers escalating over time, the decision for a victim to leave the relationship is not necessarily one that will provide an abuse-free environment. Even the court issued restraining order and for some, ankle monitoring device does not protect these victims from their husbands, wives and boyfriends returning to punish and seek their revenge.
In June of this year, Texas joined a coalition of nearly 20 states in the United States dedicated to implementing GPS tracking on certain convicted domestic violence offenders. The tracking system enables law enforcement authorities to not only monitor a convicted offender but respond quickly when an offender goes near specified locations such as a victim's home, school, or place of employment.
Note: Abuse victims are most often beaten and killed in the own homes, family homes, job sites, or other places that would normally be deemed as safe.
The Illinois legislation was passed after a woman named Cindy Bischof was murdered by her estranged boyfriend who had violated a restraining order twice. Cindy, a Chicago area real estate broker, took the legal steps to ensure her safety and the system failed her. She was shot and killed in her employment parking lot by her ex-boyfriend who had just been released from jail for a violation of the restraining order. Her grieving family turned that tragic event into a real life saving endeavor that will give victims in the state a chance.
The story of Cindy Bischof is not an exception. ... A woman in Texas remained married to her abusive husband for two decades before finally leaving him. The court had honored the request that a restraining order and monitoring device be issued against Matthew O'Connor after he continually harassed his ex-wife. On August 23, 2006, Matthew O'Connor kicked in the door of his ex-wife's home and shot her over 20 times before turning the gun on himself. Her family feels that had GPS been required on convicted offenders who had also violated a restraining order, their loved one would still be alive.
And, in Massachusetts, a 51-year-old mother of two whose West Point graduate husband and abuser tormented their family for years attributes her being alive to GPS tracking. "Joel" was said to have violated the restraining order three times and had no concern over the consequences of doing so. He continued to threaten, beat and stalk his wife and family. Massachusetts has issued over 30,000 domestic violence related restraining orders, with 1/4 of those having been violated.
A story in the New York Times told how a 21-year-old woman was continually harassed and stalked for two years by a man she met at a Weslyan University summer course. Despite initially notifying the police, Stephen P. Morgan left town so the woman did not press charges. He returned and shot her execution style seven times while she was working at her campus bookstore job. Police later uncovered evidence of a more sinister plot that involved a mass campus shooting.
Across the nation, the focus of responsibility has historically been placed on the victims of abuse by individuals and law enforcement officials, sometimes forcing the victim to uproot and run to shelters or into hiding. Although not all victims of abuse are women, it is shown time and time again that over 3/4 of those stalked and murdered by an intimate partner are female victims.
Although the GPS monitoring is being implemented in more states, nay-sayers continue to hold up excuses in opposition. Criticisms against the GPS tracking system include: false victim safety, lack of funding, and even increased violence on certain populations -- specifically minority groups.
In the United States alone, three women are murdered by their husbands and intimate partners every day; one-third of all female homicides in America.
In an already skewed system that places the blame on the victim for allegedly getting themselves into a violent and abusive relationship where abusers are often masterminds at manipulation and deflection, implementing a system of tracking for convicted abusers and violators of restraining orders could give those victims a fighting chance at life.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Myths About Domestic Violence
Common Myths About Domestic Violence:
Domestic violence only happens to poor women and women of color.
* Domestic violence happens in all kinds of families and relationships. Persons of any class, culture, religion, sexual orientation, marital status, age, and sex can be victims or perpetrators of domestic violence.
Some people deserve to be hit.
* No one deserves to be abused. Period.
* Physical violence, even among family members, is wrong and against the law.
Alcohol, drug abuse, stress, and mental illness cause domestic violence.
* Alcohol use, drug use, and stress do not cause domestic violence; they may go along with domestic violence, but they do not cause the violence. Abusers often say they use these excuses for their violence.
* Generally, domestic violence happens when an abuser has learned and chooses to abuse.
* Domestic violence is rarely caused by mental illness, but it is often used as an excuse for domestic violence.
Domestic violence is a personal problem between a husband and a wife.
* Domestic violence affects everyone.
* About 1 in 4 American women have been physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives.
* 40% to 60% of men who abuse women also abuse children.
If it were that bad, she would just leave.
* There are many reasons why women may not leave. Not leaving does not mean that the situation is OK or that the victim wants to be abused.
NOTE: I realize that leaving can be dangerous. It is true that the most dangerous time for a woman who is being abused is when she tries to leave. Still, staying only enables the abuse to continue. If one leaves there is at least about a 50% chance of survival. If the victim stays, there is about a 100% chance the victim will die, unless the abusive spouse dies before he/she kills the victim. It is best to make a safety plan for an escape to leave your abuser once and for all. Trust me. I took the 50% chance, fled my abuser, and live today to tell about it. Had I stayed, I'm certain I would be dead by now.
SIGNS OF AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP:
Do you:
* feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
* avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
* feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?
* believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
* wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?
* feel emotionally numb or helpless?
Does your partner:
* humiliate, criticize, or yell at you?
* treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
* ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
* blame you for his own abusive behavior?
* see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
Does your partner:
* have a bad and unpredictable temper?
* hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
* threaten to take your children away or harm them?
* threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
* force you to have sex?
* destroy your belongings?
Does your partner:
* act excessively jealous and possessive?
* control where you go or what you do?
* keep you from seeing your friends or family?
* limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
* constantly check up on you?
If you or someone you know is frightened about something in your relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).
Domestic violence only happens to poor women and women of color.
* Domestic violence happens in all kinds of families and relationships. Persons of any class, culture, religion, sexual orientation, marital status, age, and sex can be victims or perpetrators of domestic violence.
Some people deserve to be hit.
* No one deserves to be abused. Period.
* Physical violence, even among family members, is wrong and against the law.
Alcohol, drug abuse, stress, and mental illness cause domestic violence.
* Alcohol use, drug use, and stress do not cause domestic violence; they may go along with domestic violence, but they do not cause the violence. Abusers often say they use these excuses for their violence.
* Generally, domestic violence happens when an abuser has learned and chooses to abuse.
* Domestic violence is rarely caused by mental illness, but it is often used as an excuse for domestic violence.
Domestic violence is a personal problem between a husband and a wife.
* Domestic violence affects everyone.
* About 1 in 4 American women have been physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives.
* 40% to 60% of men who abuse women also abuse children.
If it were that bad, she would just leave.
* There are many reasons why women may not leave. Not leaving does not mean that the situation is OK or that the victim wants to be abused.
NOTE: I realize that leaving can be dangerous. It is true that the most dangerous time for a woman who is being abused is when she tries to leave. Still, staying only enables the abuse to continue. If one leaves there is at least about a 50% chance of survival. If the victim stays, there is about a 100% chance the victim will die, unless the abusive spouse dies before he/she kills the victim. It is best to make a safety plan for an escape to leave your abuser once and for all. Trust me. I took the 50% chance, fled my abuser, and live today to tell about it. Had I stayed, I'm certain I would be dead by now.
SIGNS OF AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP:
Do you:
* feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
* avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
* feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?
* believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
* wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?
* feel emotionally numb or helpless?
Does your partner:
* humiliate, criticize, or yell at you?
* treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
* ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
* blame you for his own abusive behavior?
* see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
Does your partner:
* have a bad and unpredictable temper?
* hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
* threaten to take your children away or harm them?
* threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
* force you to have sex?
* destroy your belongings?
Does your partner:
* act excessively jealous and possessive?
* control where you go or what you do?
* keep you from seeing your friends or family?
* limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
* constantly check up on you?
If you or someone you know is frightened about something in your relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Battered Asylum-Seekers
So, did you hear that the Obama administration has opened the way for foreign women who are victims of severe domestic beatings and sexual abuse to receive asylum in the United States? The action reverses a Bush administration stance on an issue at the center of a protracted and passionate legal battle over the possibilities for battered women to become refugees.
... The administration laid out its position in an immigration appeals court filing in the case of a woman from Mexico who requested asylum, saying she feared she would be murdered by a common law husband there. According to court documents filed in San Francisco, the man repeatedly raped her at gunpoint, held her captive, stole from her and at one point attempted to burn her alive when he learned she was pregnant.
The government submitted its legal brief in April, but the woman only recently gave her consent for the confidential case documents to be disclosed to The New York Times. The government has marked a clear, although narrow, pathway for battered women seeking asylum, lawyers said, after 13 years of tangled court arguments, including resistance from the Bush administration to recognize any of those claims.
Moving cautiously, the government did not immediately recommend asylum for the Mexican woman, who is identified in the court papers only by her initials as L.R. But the Department of Homeland Security, in the unusual submission written by senior government lawyers, concluded in plain terms that "it is possible" that the Mexican woman "and other applicants who have experienced domestic violence could qualify for asylum."
As recently as last year, Bush administration lawyers had argued in the same case that battered women could not meet the strict standards of American asylum law.
Even still, I question the Obama administration's ground rules for battered asylum-seekers: "In addition to meeting the existing strict conditions for being granted asylum, abused women need to show a judge that women are viewed as subordinate by their abuser, according to a court filing by the administration, and must also show that domestic abuse is widely tolerated in their country."
If the abuse itself isn't evidence that the asylum-seekers are "viewed as subordinate by their abusers," what proof, one wonders, will be sufficient? And in what country on this planet is domestic abuse not widely tolerated? That's a stipulation made by Americans who are fooling themselves.
Nonetheless, this is a step in the right direction
... The administration laid out its position in an immigration appeals court filing in the case of a woman from Mexico who requested asylum, saying she feared she would be murdered by a common law husband there. According to court documents filed in San Francisco, the man repeatedly raped her at gunpoint, held her captive, stole from her and at one point attempted to burn her alive when he learned she was pregnant.
The government submitted its legal brief in April, but the woman only recently gave her consent for the confidential case documents to be disclosed to The New York Times. The government has marked a clear, although narrow, pathway for battered women seeking asylum, lawyers said, after 13 years of tangled court arguments, including resistance from the Bush administration to recognize any of those claims.
Moving cautiously, the government did not immediately recommend asylum for the Mexican woman, who is identified in the court papers only by her initials as L.R. But the Department of Homeland Security, in the unusual submission written by senior government lawyers, concluded in plain terms that "it is possible" that the Mexican woman "and other applicants who have experienced domestic violence could qualify for asylum."
As recently as last year, Bush administration lawyers had argued in the same case that battered women could not meet the strict standards of American asylum law.
Even still, I question the Obama administration's ground rules for battered asylum-seekers: "In addition to meeting the existing strict conditions for being granted asylum, abused women need to show a judge that women are viewed as subordinate by their abuser, according to a court filing by the administration, and must also show that domestic abuse is widely tolerated in their country."
If the abuse itself isn't evidence that the asylum-seekers are "viewed as subordinate by their abusers," what proof, one wonders, will be sufficient? And in what country on this planet is domestic abuse not widely tolerated? That's a stipulation made by Americans who are fooling themselves.
Nonetheless, this is a step in the right direction
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Statistics ...
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE STATISTICS:
According to the American Institute of Domestic Violence, more than $5.8 billion is spent each year to care for U.S. victims of domestic violence; 95% of whom are female. Domestic abuse amongst men is on the rise as well, although at much lower rates.
According to the American Institute of Domestic Violence, more than $5.8 billion is spent each year to care for U.S. victims of domestic violence; 95% of whom are female. Domestic abuse amongst men is on the rise as well, although at much lower rates.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Intimate Partner Violence
Intimate partner violence (also known as Domestic Violence) is intrinsically connected to the societal oppression of women and other marginalized groups. At it’s core it is about not just violence, but violence used systematically and repeatedly in the service of having power and control over another.
Intimate partner violence is everywhere, in every segment of the population. The media doesn’t always cover it as such. Stories are often framed in ways that describe it as an assault in general or even worse, hold the victim of violence accountable. Assault, mutual fighting, these can be terms used that serve to help keep intimate partner violence invisible.
Having been a journalist for most of my mid-20s and throughout my 30s, I’ve seen the usual mixed and disappointing coverage of the issue, the victim blaming, the minimizing. Youth, who are especially attuned to media messages, are also exposed to dating/intimate partner violence at an alarming rate: 1 in 4 adolescents reports verbal, physical, emotional, or sexual abuse from a dating partner each year. So is it any surprise that youth continue to buy into victim blaming messages?
In no way do I see violence as the solution to violence. As Ghandi said: "... an eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind." I am keenly aware that prior exposure to violence, either as a victim or witness, is often in the history of those who become perpetrators of violence as adults.
Intimate partner violence is everywhere, in every segment of the population. The media doesn’t always cover it as such. Stories are often framed in ways that describe it as an assault in general or even worse, hold the victim of violence accountable. Assault, mutual fighting, these can be terms used that serve to help keep intimate partner violence invisible.
Having been a journalist for most of my mid-20s and throughout my 30s, I’ve seen the usual mixed and disappointing coverage of the issue, the victim blaming, the minimizing. Youth, who are especially attuned to media messages, are also exposed to dating/intimate partner violence at an alarming rate: 1 in 4 adolescents reports verbal, physical, emotional, or sexual abuse from a dating partner each year. So is it any surprise that youth continue to buy into victim blaming messages?
In no way do I see violence as the solution to violence. As Ghandi said: "... an eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind." I am keenly aware that prior exposure to violence, either as a victim or witness, is often in the history of those who become perpetrators of violence as adults.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Is your friend, teen or child being abused?
When you think someone close to you is in trouble, sometimes it’s hard to know the right thing to say or do. If you’re not sure, but you suspect there is a problem, trust your instincts. Take the chance and talk with your friend or family member if you suspect abuse. Sometimes having someone you can trust to talk to can be the difference between life and death. You don’t have to be an expert in domestic violence; you just need to be a good listener.
Signs to look for that might indicate an abusive relationship:
1. Does your friend’s partner get very jealous and angry when she talks with or spends time with others?
2. Does your friend’s partner put her down or humiliate her in public?
3. When you ask her to go out does she always make an excuse about why she can’t go?
4. Has your friend ever had an injury or bruise but the explanation of how it happened doesn’t make sense?
5. Does she talk about things her partner does that worry you but she makes excuses for him?
6. Does she have to ask permission to spend money even on little things?
7. Does she seem depressed or have frequent problems with sleeping or eating?
8. Does her partner lose his temper and throw or break things?
Signs to look for that might indicate an abusive relationship:
1. Does your friend’s partner get very jealous and angry when she talks with or spends time with others?
2. Does your friend’s partner put her down or humiliate her in public?
3. When you ask her to go out does she always make an excuse about why she can’t go?
4. Has your friend ever had an injury or bruise but the explanation of how it happened doesn’t make sense?
5. Does she talk about things her partner does that worry you but she makes excuses for him?
6. Does she have to ask permission to spend money even on little things?
7. Does she seem depressed or have frequent problems with sleeping or eating?
8. Does her partner lose his temper and throw or break things?
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