Our culture unfortunately already seems to encourage that boys/men act aggressively and show their power in a physical manner. Women are perceived as weak oftentimes and are easily preyed upon by abusers. Currently, our culture encourages women to act in a submissive manner and to accept male domination. Unfortunately, it is these very values that increase the likelihood that some men will become abusive to their wives and also their children.
Even in today’s times, society will often encourage girls no matter the extent of the abuse, to stay with their abusers. Society often expects men to use physical means to control their surroundings and this includes their wives/girlfriends and their children. With all this said, where does this leave the children who are witnessing these learned abusive behaviors in their home or are being abused themselves.
First and foremost, children that are in an abusive environment almost always suffer from low self-esteem. They often have cognitive or language delays, delays in their overall development, and stress-related problems. These kids are without a doubt the most stressed out children that are seen for psychological treatment. They either are very angry; belligerent and exhibit acting out behaviors or they are quiet; withdrawn and are willing to say very little out of fear of reprisal. These children often feel guilty for not stopping the abuse and younger children often do not understand the abuse and they take responsibility for the abuse occurring to their mother or to themselves.
Children that witness domestic violence seem to live in a constant state of extreme anxiety and their school work and their social relationships really suffer. The boys that witness this abuse often become abusers themselves and the girls are often battered in their own relationships as an adult. Because the old adage really applies here, you do what you know or what you are familiar with. These children struggle in school and problems academically due to lack of concentration and frequent absences from school as a result of stress-related illnesses such as constant headaches, stomach problems, or difficulty sleeping at night.
Whether or not a child is witnessing abuse in their home or is a victim of the abuse themselves, the psychological effects are often the same, these are children that are traumatized for years to come. Anger and violence play a very negative role in the overall development of a child. Mental health treatment with abused children tends to be long and arduous as a result of the damaging effects. As always, if you suspect that a child is living in this kind of environment or is being abused themselves, please contact your local abuse hotline or your local child welfare services.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Domestic Violence Deaths
Domestic violence experts say it's likely an anomaly that three Iowa women have been shot by their male partners in the last week.
Violence in domestic relationships can't be blamed on the weather or cabin fever, said Kirsten Faisal of the Iowa Coalition Against Domestic Violence.
"Sometimes there's more of a bump toward the weekend when people are home spending time together," she said. "But it's not about cabin fever, because lots of us are tired of that. It's almost always the culmination of long-term patterns of threats, coercion and controlling behavior."
The most recent of the three shootings occurred late Monday night when Kenny John Becker Sr., 61, of Hawkeye allegedly shot his wife, Gloria Becker, in the back with a shotgun as she tried to leave the house. Her injuries were considered life-threatening, authorities said.
Kenny Becker was arrested on a charge of attempted murder after a six-hour standoff.
Women in Iowa are more frequently victims of domestic assault than men by a wide margin, said Marti Anderson, director of the crime victim assistance division of the Iowa attorney general's office.
Since 1995, 131 women have been killed in Iowa in domestic assaults, compared with 24 men. During that period, 46 bystanders have been killed in domestic assaults. The bystanders frequently are children, someone the woman was dating or someone trying to protect a victim from a perpetrator.
The other two women shot by their partners last week died, and the men then killed themselves, authorities have said.
Leon Police Chief Ronald Zeiss said Brandan Broich, 21, shot Ashley Singh, 20, and then turned the gun on himself early Saturday at their Leon home.
"They were having some relationship problems," Zeiss said.
An autopsy showed that Mark and Laura Wharff, both 51, died from shotgun wounds to the head on Jan. 13 at their Altoona home. Police said Mark killed Laura, then himself.
Police were sent to check on Laura Wharff after she didn't show up for work.
Violence "often happens when the victim is resisting or tries to leave a relationship," Faisal said. "A threat of separation or feeling of losing control can create a trigger."
Cases of domestic homicides by firearms are dropping nationally, but not necessarily in Iowa, Faisal said.
She said firearms need to be taken away from those convicted of domestic violence and those with restraining orders filed against them. She said the Iowa Coalition Against Domestic Violence will again press for a state law during this legislative session.
Randall Moore, accused of shooting and killing his estranged wife, Tereseann Lynch Moore, in November, was not supposed to possess firearms, according to a protective order. Polk County District Judge Karen Romano barred Moore from having contact with his wife and ordered him to surrender all his firearms in October. Moore signed the document, agreeing to comply with the order.
The Violence Against Women Act, passed by Congress in 1994, prohibits gun ownership by any "intimate partner" subject to a domestic abuse no-contact order.
A 2006 study of court records by Iowans for the Prevention of Gun Violence showed that only 28 percent of Iowa judges enforced the federal law.
Court orders rarely require law enforcement officers to retrieve banned firearms from alleged abusers, said Deputy Jana Rooker, spokeswoman for the Polk County Sheriff's Office.
Polk County Medical Examiner Dr. Gregory Schmunk ended 2009 issuing a warning in December about domestic abuse cases.
"I just think we can do a better job of keeping people safe," he said. "Over the past few years these kind of cases - domestic assaults - may have fallen off the radar with the public. Maybe one of the reasons is we haven't had a lot of them lately, but I think the Tereseann Moore case screams out."
If you have a family member, friend or loved one who has been killed because of intimate or domestic violence, do not let their death be in vain.
Access Justice Now, a non-profit dedicated to seeking justice on behalf of intimate and domestic violence victims, may be able to help.
Go to http://www.accessjusticenow.org and fill out the Legal Assistance form at the bottom of the home page if you feel the death of your friend or loved one could have been avoided had authorities taken steps to enforce the law.
Everyone Deserves Justice! Everyone!
Violence in domestic relationships can't be blamed on the weather or cabin fever, said Kirsten Faisal of the Iowa Coalition Against Domestic Violence.
"Sometimes there's more of a bump toward the weekend when people are home spending time together," she said. "But it's not about cabin fever, because lots of us are tired of that. It's almost always the culmination of long-term patterns of threats, coercion and controlling behavior."
The most recent of the three shootings occurred late Monday night when Kenny John Becker Sr., 61, of Hawkeye allegedly shot his wife, Gloria Becker, in the back with a shotgun as she tried to leave the house. Her injuries were considered life-threatening, authorities said.
Kenny Becker was arrested on a charge of attempted murder after a six-hour standoff.
Women in Iowa are more frequently victims of domestic assault than men by a wide margin, said Marti Anderson, director of the crime victim assistance division of the Iowa attorney general's office.
Since 1995, 131 women have been killed in Iowa in domestic assaults, compared with 24 men. During that period, 46 bystanders have been killed in domestic assaults. The bystanders frequently are children, someone the woman was dating or someone trying to protect a victim from a perpetrator.
The other two women shot by their partners last week died, and the men then killed themselves, authorities have said.
Leon Police Chief Ronald Zeiss said Brandan Broich, 21, shot Ashley Singh, 20, and then turned the gun on himself early Saturday at their Leon home.
"They were having some relationship problems," Zeiss said.
An autopsy showed that Mark and Laura Wharff, both 51, died from shotgun wounds to the head on Jan. 13 at their Altoona home. Police said Mark killed Laura, then himself.
Police were sent to check on Laura Wharff after she didn't show up for work.
Violence "often happens when the victim is resisting or tries to leave a relationship," Faisal said. "A threat of separation or feeling of losing control can create a trigger."
Cases of domestic homicides by firearms are dropping nationally, but not necessarily in Iowa, Faisal said.
She said firearms need to be taken away from those convicted of domestic violence and those with restraining orders filed against them. She said the Iowa Coalition Against Domestic Violence will again press for a state law during this legislative session.
Randall Moore, accused of shooting and killing his estranged wife, Tereseann Lynch Moore, in November, was not supposed to possess firearms, according to a protective order. Polk County District Judge Karen Romano barred Moore from having contact with his wife and ordered him to surrender all his firearms in October. Moore signed the document, agreeing to comply with the order.
The Violence Against Women Act, passed by Congress in 1994, prohibits gun ownership by any "intimate partner" subject to a domestic abuse no-contact order.
A 2006 study of court records by Iowans for the Prevention of Gun Violence showed that only 28 percent of Iowa judges enforced the federal law.
Court orders rarely require law enforcement officers to retrieve banned firearms from alleged abusers, said Deputy Jana Rooker, spokeswoman for the Polk County Sheriff's Office.
Polk County Medical Examiner Dr. Gregory Schmunk ended 2009 issuing a warning in December about domestic abuse cases.
"I just think we can do a better job of keeping people safe," he said. "Over the past few years these kind of cases - domestic assaults - may have fallen off the radar with the public. Maybe one of the reasons is we haven't had a lot of them lately, but I think the Tereseann Moore case screams out."
If you have a family member, friend or loved one who has been killed because of intimate or domestic violence, do not let their death be in vain.
Access Justice Now, a non-profit dedicated to seeking justice on behalf of intimate and domestic violence victims, may be able to help.
Go to http://www.accessjusticenow.org and fill out the Legal Assistance form at the bottom of the home page if you feel the death of your friend or loved one could have been avoided had authorities taken steps to enforce the law.
Everyone Deserves Justice! Everyone!
Monday, January 18, 2010
Trouble in Hollywood ...
I don’t know the particulars of Charlie Sheen’s arrest Christmas morning on charges of domestic violence.
To be honest, I didn’t even know he had remarried. I’ve never heard of his current wife, Brooke Mueller, nor was I aware they were renting a home in Aspen, Colo. I’m only vaguely aware of the details of the charges against Sheen, I haven’t read statements by his lawyer or his wife or the Pitkin County, Colo., Police Department ...
The litany of arrests, charges, and mischief Sheen has amassed. Surely you remember his patronage in the sordid business of Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss in 1995? But do you remember his alleged shooting of then-fiance Kelly Preston in the arm in 1990? His acrimonious, accusation-riddled divorce from Denise Richards in 2005 is still top-of-mind, but who among us could recall his alleged out-of-court settlement with a college student who claimed he assaulted her after she refused him sex 10 years earlier?
Domestic violence crosses all walks of life, even the rich and famous. I mention all this because Sheen is the starring face of the No. 1 sitcom in America, and it’s the calling card of the highest paid actor on television today.
Hearing about Sheen having to eat his Christmas ham in the hoosegow makes me curious about how CBS will handle this latest letdown from one of its biggest stars. If Sheen is forced into rehab, it will certainly put a crimp in the shooting schedule of one of the Tiffany Network’s signature series. But more to the point, how will audiences handle it?
Lasting TV shows become such because TV is an intimate medium — we literally invite characters into our homes and make time for them on a regular basis, the way we would for family and friends. Sitcoms or drama, scripted television shows attain longevity when audiences care about characters on a personal level — and the actors who portray them.
Sheen’s been given a pass so far by CBS, the industry and viewers. Maybe because the Charlie Harper he plays on TV is just a made-for-TV refraction of his real life character, it’s not so stunning to find out that Sheen sobered up on Christmas morning on a jail cell floor, rather than on a living room couch like the rest of us. And maybe folks will just absorb the news and move on.
To be honest, I didn’t even know he had remarried. I’ve never heard of his current wife, Brooke Mueller, nor was I aware they were renting a home in Aspen, Colo. I’m only vaguely aware of the details of the charges against Sheen, I haven’t read statements by his lawyer or his wife or the Pitkin County, Colo., Police Department ...
The litany of arrests, charges, and mischief Sheen has amassed. Surely you remember his patronage in the sordid business of Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss in 1995? But do you remember his alleged shooting of then-fiance Kelly Preston in the arm in 1990? His acrimonious, accusation-riddled divorce from Denise Richards in 2005 is still top-of-mind, but who among us could recall his alleged out-of-court settlement with a college student who claimed he assaulted her after she refused him sex 10 years earlier?
Domestic violence crosses all walks of life, even the rich and famous. I mention all this because Sheen is the starring face of the No. 1 sitcom in America, and it’s the calling card of the highest paid actor on television today.
Hearing about Sheen having to eat his Christmas ham in the hoosegow makes me curious about how CBS will handle this latest letdown from one of its biggest stars. If Sheen is forced into rehab, it will certainly put a crimp in the shooting schedule of one of the Tiffany Network’s signature series. But more to the point, how will audiences handle it?
Lasting TV shows become such because TV is an intimate medium — we literally invite characters into our homes and make time for them on a regular basis, the way we would for family and friends. Sitcoms or drama, scripted television shows attain longevity when audiences care about characters on a personal level — and the actors who portray them.
Sheen’s been given a pass so far by CBS, the industry and viewers. Maybe because the Charlie Harper he plays on TV is just a made-for-TV refraction of his real life character, it’s not so stunning to find out that Sheen sobered up on Christmas morning on a jail cell floor, rather than on a living room couch like the rest of us. And maybe folks will just absorb the news and move on.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
January is National Stalking Awareness Month
This month (January 2010) marks the 7th observance of National Stalking Awareness Month (NSAM) in the United States.
Did you know that each year, more than one million women and nearly 400,000 men in the United States are victims of stalking?
This year the theme is "Stalking: Know It. Name It. Stop It." It challenges communities (including workplaces) to combat this dangerous crime by learning more about it and taking action.
The Stalking Resource Center and the Office on Violence Against Women has launched the 2010 National Stalking Awareness Month Web site at http://stalkingawarenessmonth.org/. The site offers fact sheets, media tools, brochures, posters and artwork, and much more. Check it out!
Did you know that each year, more than one million women and nearly 400,000 men in the United States are victims of stalking?
This year the theme is "Stalking: Know It. Name It. Stop It." It challenges communities (including workplaces) to combat this dangerous crime by learning more about it and taking action.
The Stalking Resource Center and the Office on Violence Against Women has launched the 2010 National Stalking Awareness Month Web site at http://stalkingawarenessmonth.org/. The site offers fact sheets, media tools, brochures, posters and artwork, and much more. Check it out!
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