Understanding Teenage Dating Violence

Teenage dating violence is not uncommon; almost a third of teens in the U.S. experience some type of abuse in their relationships. It follows the typical patterns that adult abusive relationships follow with repeated violence which gets worse every time. The abuser feels remorse and says they are sorry with promises to change, but the violence continues and the pattern continues. There are three main types of dating abuse: verbal and emotional, physical, and sexual.

Verbal or emotional abuse is about the abuser trying to gain control of the victims feelings or behaviors, as are all of the types of abuse. It instills fear in the victim and erodes their self worth and self esteem. Verbal and emotional abuse includes yelling, name calling, put downs, embarrassment, intimidation, and/or the spreading of rumors. It can make the person feel responsible for their abuse, as their abuser controls their actions and behavior. The victim feels trapped in the relationship, and is so manipulated that they fear ending the connection.

Physical abuse in teenage dating violence involves hitting, shoving, pushing, and any other unwanted contact with the victims body. The abuser overreacts in a negative way to a victims behavior, and becomes physically aggressive with their partner. According to the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence, 45% of girls reported that they had experienced physical violence while in a dating relationship. The terror a young person feels in this situation, again, traps them into remaining in a bad situation.

Sexual abuse is defined as unwanted sexual activity which includes kissing or touching, groping, and/or sexual intercourse. A partner in a relationship always has the right to say no to any sexual situation, and it is considered abusive when they are forced into something they do not want to do. Sexual abuse is common in abusive relationships, and a significant amount of physically battered victims are also raped by their partners. There are negative consequences to remaining in an abusive relationship for the victim, and most continue in the relationship.