Refuse to Live in Fear ...

Fear is one of the most crippling forces plaguing domestic violence victims. Like a thief, it robs us of our courage and desire to excel in life. Provoked fear in the victim by an abuser is a tactic used to stifle our progress and cause us to give up on our dreams and aspirations.

There are many opportunities to fulfill our purpose and destiny, but the mere presence of fear extinguish the fires of thriving in our lives. There are many types of fear that come with living in a relationship plagued by domestic abuse, but the end result is the same: a future robbed of its potential and an individual haunted by the mystery of what might have been.

So how do we overcome fear? By daring to do. Dare to do what you as an individual have been called to do. Dare to be successful. Dare to dream big and accomplish your goals. Dare to leave your abusive relationship and seek a more humane, safer, and fulfilling life for yourself. Dare to make a positive change. By daring to do, we can dramatically diminish our level of fear.

How would you live your life without the presence of fear? How would you act if you knew you could be free of abuse, both emotionally and physically? What would you do differently if you had nothing to fear? What goals would you aspire to achieve if you knew you no longer had to live your life with the fear of being abused by your spouse or partner?

Consider this: What if Mother Teresa had refused to dedicate her life to service and altruism because she feared living in poverty? What if Nelson Mandela had refused to oppose apartheid in South Africa because he feared imprisonment? What if Martin Luther King Jr. had refused to promote civil rights and preach a message of peace and nonviolence because he feared assassination? Where would we be in the world if some of the world's most notable heroes had succumbed to fear?

In my book Another Search for Shelter, I tell of my personal story of leaving my abusive husband and seeking refuge in a homeless shelter. From personal experience, I can honestly say that even being homeless is better than living as a victim of domestic violence.

Where would I be if I had let the fear of the unknown keep me bound in a dangerous and unhealthy relationship? I would likely be dead. Regardless, I certainly would not be where I am today -- living a fulfilling, happy, and peaceful lifestyle free from the fear that once plagued me.

The best way to overcome fear is to face it. Don't allow fear of the unknown prevent you from leaving your abuser. If you are being abused, you need to get out of the unhealthy relationship that you are living in. You need to be free to go after your dreams with fervor and passion. Ask for help if you need it, and don't stop until you receive it!

Start today! Determine in your heart and mind to leave a legacy of greatness and a life characterized by respect and self-reliance, not fear and dependence. You deserve it!